Monday, June 14, 2010
Heart vs. Brain
Lately there has been a fierce battle going on between my brain and my heart. My husband and I are both students and working. We will not graduate with our degrees in nursing and radiology until 2013. However I REALLY REALLY would like to start a family. It's so easy just to say "hey lets just do it" because we live in a house where we don't have to pay rent and are not really financially burdened.By the time I graduate I will be 27, I know that is not an old age to have a child but I've always wanted to be a younger mom for some reason. At the same time I know that that there would be a HIGH HIGH chance that I would not graduate on time due to responsibilities of being a parent. I realize that it would make it extremely difficult to continue school, I live with my sister in law who has a young child and can see that she struggles. Sometimes I just get tired of living my life the "right" or "smart" way and planning everything out so strategically, I wish I didn't have to be so logical.
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Do not have that child! I will try to keep this short. I have 3 boys and did not finish college. My husband and I have been so poor for so long. We married when he was a student. We could just never get ahead because I couldn't help out financially in a meaningful way and he was still a student and we had our first baby when he was a senoir in college and then his big first break was in a big city where the cost of living was so high. I have worked at tons of nearly minimum wage jobs because I had no formal education. Those kind of jobs suck, you know it and I know it. My husband and I have made a commitment for me to be home to raise all three, which I did, they have never been sent to daycare. All my jobs were part time and in the evening. My kids are all old enough to be in elementary school now and I want to get a real job, a job that makes a difference and so we can increase our income. But I have to have a college education for it. I will be 37 when my college studies will be done. 37! When you are 37, you could have a 10 year old kid, 8 yr old, 6 yr old and 4 yr old and a college education. Going back to school while being a mother is extremely difficult. Did you know a decent daycare is about $200 a week? What kind of job with no education is going to make it worth putting your child in daycare, if you are going to/have to work? Get the education, don't regret being uneducated. You are still young enough for kids. It sucks going back to school in your 30's and 40's.
ReplyDeleteYeah thanks for your input I totally get what your saying. I guess I just wish I could be finished with school, I mean I've been going since 2004. I just didn't know what I wanted to do. I still fight my emotions about wanting to start a family but in the end I'm probably just going to wait until we've graduated..or how about this, I'll start trying to become pregnant somewhere half way through the last semester of my program. That way we'll have our degrees and I wont have to stress about trying to finish. Plus I don't want to stress out so much that I wont enjoy becoming a mom. Thanks again :-)
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